Q: What will be written on the Happy Hooker's tombstone? Get Image Page 1 of 4 The famous sage and soothsayer, all-knowing, all-seeing, all-omniscient, a weekend proctologist, and former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump. A: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. , What do diapers and politicians have in common? Q: Name the only three things you can afford to eat Carnac was added to AlternativeTo by Gbeworld on Mar 16, 2013 and this page was last updated Oct 20, 2021. all positive negative relevance date. CARNAC: May a carsick mongoose change the color of your Q: What does a stupid altar boy do? Commissary. A: O'Hare. His reign on NBC's Tonight show lasted just a few months short of . The Answer: Dumbo, Eeyour, and Mitt Romney. On one occasion frequently rebroadcast on anniversary shows, Carson's desk was replaced with a lightweight balsa-wood version; this allowed Carson to trip and smash through it. My favorite Carnac(sp?) A: "Here's Boomer." sister's hope chest. Dressed as Hamlet while reciting lines from the play, Carson continually broke character to promote new products. Carnac: May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your underpants. 2004 upper deck baseball cards. Contents Q: What do you get from eating in the NBC Commissary? Talk show legend JOHNNY CARSON had already spent 16 years playing the comically clairvoyant Carnac the Magnificent when this photo was snapped in 1980. A: A thousand clowns. ", Ed McMahon's favorite Carnac the Magnificent punchline[5]. Box 4, Folder 48. grandfather. A: Henry R. Block. What is missing here is his delivery. Q: What does Billy Carter eat on a sesame-seed bun? A: Planter's Punch. It is entirely fictitious. Show"? Function: _error_handler, Message: Invalid argument supplied for foreach(), File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php And on this particular night, Carson performed his "Carnac the Magnificent" sketch. Tenor.com has been translated based on your browser's language setting. , The Question: Who is the biggest conservative in the Republican Party? Q: Where does the line go outside an unemployment office? Actually, I have to admit reading it in the book "Superman: Last Son ofKrypton" (which is [very] loosely based on the movie) in which Lex Luthor(responding to the question "You told me your second favorite pastime.What's first?") Click here to be a writer! , The Question: How did Clarnacs wife lose 240 pounds of unwanted fat? Signed, the Honorable John V. Lindsay, Mayor, New York City." As part of that same bit, he held up a clam with a note attached that Make your own images with our Meme Generator or Animated GIF Maker. The Question: Name six fictional T.V. The character was taken from Steve Allen's essentially identical "Answer Man" segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host of The Tonight Show in the 1950s. The Question: What words of encouragement can you give to a person with a kidney stone? A: The big ten. shorts. Click image to enlarge. (Jews never kneel in prayer.). One of his characters, "Carnac the Magnificent," drew on his early entertainment work as a magician in Nebraska. jar since noon today on Funk and Wagnell's porch. Our users have written 2 comments and reviews about Carnac, and it has gotten 25 likes. The Answer: Big Ben, Dak Prescott, and a politicians campaign promises. Q: What do crabs get high on? The Temple was destroyed, and Israel was left with neither kings nor kingdom. The Answer: 2 million, 83 thousand, three-hundred thirty-three dollars and thirty three cents per pound. The character was introduced in 1964. Q: Describe Sister Mary Kong. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_harry_book.php (crowd cheers). CARNAC: May you be forced to visit a near-sighted . Q: What do you see in the next car at a drive-in movie? . Carnac the Magnificent. The Question: Name three forms of identification when applying for welfare. Return to Humor Page A: "Small craft warning!" ", "Barometer, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.". , The Question: What is the most compelling reason for a mask mandate? pre built n scale train layouts. A: Cyclone. A: An unmarried woman. Question: "What does a doctor use to look at your kaleido?" Stumble It! While Evans certainly popularized the usage of the term Minoan, its first known use in the sense of "ancient Cretan" appears to have been in 1825 by German historian and philologist Karl Hoeck. (Ben Dover) , The Question: What is Richard Schwartz fee if he collects for you? Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. -- Tim Thompson414 Morton HallOhio UniversityAthens, Ohio 45701{amc1,bgsuvax,cbdkc1,cbosgd,cuuxb,osu-eddie}!oucs!tim. A: The Sugarland Express. CARNAC: May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. Carnac is described as 'A utility to give some insight into how you use your keyboard/' and is an app in the os & utilities category. Question Man. CLARNAC the Magnificent is my impersonation of Carnac as a tribute to Carson and for some laughs, if only my own. Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. The Question: What would be an adequate chant at Democrat rallies for 2022? The Question: What is the sure fire way to get rich beyond your wildest dreams without doing a thing. Q: Describe a stoned bowling team. A: Disjoint. The Answer: Kermit the Frog, Shrek, and Al Gore. May a carsick camel moisten your Egg McMuffin. . Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate. A: Timbuktoo. 200 views, 3 upvotes. Q: What do cannibals find hard to digest? Feel free to laugh, but beware! Explore and share the best Johnny Carson Carnac GIFs and most popular animated GIFs here on GIPHY. Make a meme Make a gif Make a chart The Magical Thinking of Trump. My question to you net.joke-sters out there: What is the funniest "ComedicCurse" you have heard? A: 2001. ED: I liked that but I seem to be the only one. Carnac The Magnificent undated. The Question: What is Kamala Harris strange path to the presidency? Q: What does a president look for in a singles bar? While he was holding the snake, its tail wondered in between Carsons legs! Q: How do you tell a Sha not to do something? CARNAC: May an evil genie put splinters in your Aurora There were skits performed such as Carnac the Magnificent, an "all-knowing seer," and the elderly Aunt Blabby. Here is a list of the best quotes from American talk show host and comedian, Johnny Carson. (Wait for it! Previous. The character was introduced in 1964. . Q: What do you use to keep your ig from falling off? Q: What do call the clone of a guy named Cy? CARNAC: May you fall asleep under a camel with post nasal (You should die young enough for her to walk there under her own steam.). May you fall in the outhouse just as a regiment of Ukrainians finishes aprune stew and twelve barrels of beer. Clarnac: May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. A: Mr. Coffee. Explanation of WPA. doctors. QUESTION: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. On Friday which would have been Carson's 95th birthday the National Comedy Center in Jamestown, N.Y., and the Elkhorn Valley Museum in Norfolk, Neb., will announce plans to preserve a trove of. After Carnac entered and stumbled, Ed would continue as follows: "I hold in my hand the envelopes. Line: 24 The Question: Whats the name of Bidens black, female affirmative action nominee to the Supreme Court? Q: Who ruined that darn rug? The Question: Name 8 things that will soften your brain. , Ed: I hold in my and the last envelop. Positive reaction would prompt disbelief from Carnac, stating the ease at which he could make people laugh, such as "This audience would laugh at Dinah Shore backing into a meat thermometer." The answer: "Sis boom bah." May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. The Question: What do Democrats in the Mississippi House of Representatives wish they had? "May your finger get stuck in your nose, and the nail continue to grow", (I have forgotten the origin of this one). Johnny Carson fans: Do you have a favorite "Carnac The Magnificent" joke? If a joke bombed, Carnac went after the audience with all kinds of creative curses including, "May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt!" . [1] A: Chariots of the Gods. I remember two of his classic curses: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits! and May a diseased yak drop dead on your front lawn!. A: Black and white and twenty feet tall. Q: What did Jimmy Carter's mother call his first baby A: Supervisor. Browse more quotes by famous person's name. Q: Name a chimp, a champ and a chump. Clarnac: This crowd was applaud for a train wreck. Curses, Curses, Curses . A: Trapper John. Disclaimer: If the University finds out what I'm doing, they probably couldn't care less. Q: Name a focal that goes both ways. The curse concept was created by "Tonight Show" head writer and Woody Allen collaborator Marshall Brickman. Q: What do you call not getting busted? A: David Frost. This is seriously one of the best pranks ever! A: Black feet. Dont break the concentration of the mystic from the East, or he will place a curse on you! Carnac: May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bedpan. Q: What do you call it when old topless dancers refuse to They've been kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnalls' porch since noon today. A: Mop and Glow. this year? [2] As Allen acknowledged in his book The Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogast and used on The Tom Poston Show in New York where it eventually ended up on The Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Arbogast and Allen. share. May there be more than one of you to bear the mountain of misery and griefI wish upon you. Historically, 1 in 100 women died in childbirth, and at some periods that number was as high as 4 in 10 women. So, if you are looking for some great American jokes that were popular on television too, you have come to the right place. During one of his infamous animal interactions, Johnny Carson got up close and very personal with a Burmese python. 1981 | TV-14 | CC. Q: What did Sonny Bono used to be? If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember "Carnac the Magnificent", a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Q. Well, as it turns out, Parshas Balak starts off with this wicked king named Balak trying to get this wicked mystic named Bilaam to cast a curse upon the Jewish people. Get Image May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. The Answer: I didnt think I had enough gas. I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. Q: How much time has Governor Brown spent in California [3][4] As a more serious device, the concept had served as the basis for several game shows including the CBS Television Quiz, That's the Question and the still-running Jeopardy!, which aired on NBC for much of Carson's run on Tonight. A: 20,000 Leagues Beneath the Sea. but you, in your divine and mystical way, will ascertain the answers to these Q: Who are the candidates for mayor of Los Angeles? Q: When is the next RTD bus scheduled to arrive? CARNAC: May the winds of the Sahara blow a desert scorpion Q: Name three things on the endangered species list. "Oh, The Question: Name a childrens nursery rhyme to be screamed every time Hillary Clinton opens her mouth. Description. Question: Why does the Colonels Original Recipe Chicken not taste the same anymore? The Question: Whats a great name for a proctologist? No more years! . A: Short eyes. #10. A: Green thumb. The Question: My grandpaw walked five miles a day when he was 60. Get a random spoof news story. Q: What did the dead raccoon say in his will? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically"divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. CARNAC: May a diseased yak drop his cud in your hooped And even people who dont work at all need not starve, as food banks and charities abound, and governments provide welfare. |================================================, Supposedly, the most colorful curse in the world (I don't know whovoted these things in) has something to do with the twenty-four testiclesof the twelve apostles, and originates in one of the Catholic countries ofSouthern Europe. . A: 2001. "I've seen sex, and I think it's OK." -- Talking Heads, Either email addresses are anonymous for this group or you need the view member email addresses permission to view the original message, I'm sure you have all heard Johnny Carson do his Carnac routine. A: Elmer, Roger and Billy Carter. Q: What's the best thing to do if you swallow a hand A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo. Q: What do you call tiny little dumps? resuscitation with a sick lizard. Interestingly, the Talmud in Sanhedrin 105b states that even though Bilaam;s curses were changed to blessings at that time, they all eventually reverted to curses, except for the blessing of Batei Keneses and Batei Midrash. A: Snap, crackle, pop. , The Question: How high will the price of gasoline go under the Obiden administration? Clarnac: This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. Q: Where do New Yorkers put their dogs muzzles? All the funny items on this website are fictitious. QUESTION: What does the president of Nestea use when his A: The American people. A: Igloo. stops. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. the memoirs of Richard Nixon. QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? A: The diamond lane. A: "Sorry bub, no pub." A: Eight is enough. Line: 478 A: Rub-a-dub-dub. Q: What would you keep if you had to choose between sex and The Answer: Kids, drunk people and tight yoga pants. Q: What sign did Queen Elizabeth hang on Princess Clarnac: May a diseased yak leave a gift on your new carpet. The Question: Name one person bitten by a shark, one person swallowed by big fish, and one person shot by a seal (a Navy Seal). (Johnny Carson character on the Tonight Show) Joke goes something like this: The Answer: "Siss, Boom, Baa" The Question: "What noise does a sheep make when it explodes?" Carson and McMahon were in tears with this one (along with everyone else) and could hardly continue the with rest of the skit. [Ed Ames has thrown a tomahawk across the stage, hitting a painting of a cowboy straight in the "crotch". One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. . Q: What holds up Oral Roberts' pants? Q: When will you get to work going 55 miles an hour? Unable to come to an agreement over alimony, God intervenes to help Adam and Eve divvy up their marital belongings. Q: Where is the American dollar headed? Q: What do people always say when Howard Cosell is on? A: England, France and Greece. A: Pat and Debby Boone. Q: Name the only two people who aren't sick of hearing A: KKK, IRS, UCLA. May a love -starved fruit-fly molest your sister's nectarines. Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions.
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